This swine flu business is nothing new.
The following clip comes from the wonderful John Hodgman, who helpfully points out that the truck driver at the beginning of the clip is obviously drunk.
NO ONE IS TOO FAST FOR SWINE FLU.
While I'm on this topic: why is it that diseases such as swine flu never live up to their name? If you're going to employ such a radical term as "swine flu" why not save it for an infection that turns its victims into half-man/half-pig abberations. Then you can have reconstructed footage such as the one above featuring ordinary people rolling around in the mud, insatiably craving slops and being smarter than dogs? You could even insert a few laughs as some college kids joke about how Stan is such a sweaty hog and smells like bacon - before Stan suddenly reveals trotters instead of hands and begins to oink uncontrollably! I'd pay to see that!
But I guess I'll have to get used to disappointment.