I'd normally ask which one you'd opt for, but there's no contest this time around. The first will be all over the internet in, say, the next five minutes - I don't think the second will make it too far.
The question has dogged the greatest minds of our age: what's the hammiest rodent? At last, conclusive evidence.
And I can't even begin to describe this one. To say words fail me isn't enough. They don't just fail me. It's like words renege on a legally binding contract, jilt me at the altar, crash my car while high, trick me into signing my house over to them, then burn it down, disrespect my ancestors and infect me with a nasty and non-removable STD. That's how much words are letting me down.
But let me say, despite the initial stomach-turning burst of wrongness you might experience, it's worth sticking with this freaky Russian poppin' and lockin' muscleman for at least a minute or so.