You may be asking yourself (or me) "How do we know that Arie is the greatest artist in the world?" I know that Arie is the greatest artist in the world because he considerately tells us so. He has a website called The Greatest Artist in the World which is located at the easy to remember URL thegreatestartistintheworld.com.
Arie exhibits at One of a Kind gallery in Sydney. His past exhibits have had confident titles such as "Best of the Best", "The Greatest Artist in the World" and, my favourite, "Nothing But Masterpieces." This is the kind of can-do attitude that will take Arie places, I think.
Arie paints using only a trowel, but Arie can do with his trowel what the great Salvador Dali did with a hundred paint brushes. This is because his works are "crafted with the highest level of skill that has ever been mastered by a painter". He does it because he loves it more than anything else. "Except for sex!" That's good!
Arie's artworks contain great meaning. Take "Cow Cow":
"Cow Cow" tells the story of the first time a bull takes his calf to a meadow full of "heffers".
"The bull and his calf stand observing the herd in the meadow.
The son says to his father 'Hey father, father how about we run down the hill, grab one and have our way with it?'
The father replies to the son 'How about we walk down and have our way with all, one cow at a time, cow cow!'"
That's funny!
Here is a poem by Arie called "Art Fart":
Art fart aint it smart, Do not touch!!! I'll fall apart! Bullshit, rubbish, one will pay for the same junk he chucked away compromising that's the game lucky, me, I'm not the same!I'm just a man with a trowel in my hand trying to help you understand. My art is the best you've seen the rest, now is the right time to invest! So come along with me you don't need an art degree, take a part in history!
Arie's philosophy is a welcome break from the wankery of the art world, setting up (as it does) a useful distinction between two categories of artist: the Best Artist and Everyone Else. This is right thinking! Also here is a handy graph I stumbled upon recently (unrelated).
Anyway, good on you, Arie. I'm not really that sure that "art" is like a competition that someone can win, rendering all other art useless, but I honestly do admire this young man's strong sense of self. I honestly mean that. And like a bull proudly taking every cow in the meadow, I hope you reap all the rewards of a satisfying career as an artist. Cow cow!
In other news, I hope everyone has a great day.
2 comments:
finally, FINALLY, you are giving Arie the attention he deserves. cow cow
"Arie trowel-hand" has a certain ring it. Better than Philippe Scissor-Legs, no? G'won, tellus what you really thought... You can make a joke about the Genty being an anagram of Genyt-als. Sorta.
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