Pat and Joel emote. Pt.2

Pat and Joel have strong feelings on a variety of topics, feel they are worth sharing. Today, they edge towards forbidden subjects, share a wavelength and find God (or a close family relative).

JOEL: It was New Year's Eve, 1998. I climbed onto the roof and looked out across the night, hearing the faint sounds of backyard parties and resolutions soon to be broken and the dumb roar of a billion stars overhead. I could barely feel my legs below me, so I sat down on the clay tiled roof and thought about things. I thought about what had happened during the year, about the accident, but mostly about the people I'd lost afterwards, the calls that had become more seldom, shorter and more prone to silences at the both ends of the line. I'd never cried as much as I did that year. And I wondered if I'd ever talk about it. And sure, I was still angry, angry at the justice system that couldn't explain the whole deal, at the doctors who said they'd never seen anything like this, and the people who stared at me on the street. Like I was the freak. And that night, as the staggered wave of NYE countdowns began to rise up like doves around me, each a few beats off from one another, I made a solemn vow, a vow which I hold to this day, and which-

PAT: J-Bo! Check it!


JOEL: WOOOAAAAHHH!!! And a golly old HUUUH???

PAT: Who were you talking to?

JOEL: I - what a minute! What happened to you?

PAT: Cool it, gringo! What are you talking about?

JOEL: It's ok, I'm cool now.

PAT: Are you emoting about my new tan?

JOEL: I think I am, I think I am.

PAT: Gotcha. New do to go with it, dig?

JOEL: Gnarly.

PAT: So I heard you talking there, and though I wasn't eavesdropping, I couldn't help but wish you were saying that stuff to me. We go way back, right?

JOEL: Yeah, you hit the nail on the head right there. But frankly, I was talking about the accident and I can't talk about that with you.

PAT: Why ever not?

JOEL: It is forbidden.

POPPYCOCK: Did I hear someone calling me?

PAT: Hell no, Poppycock.

JOEL: PAT! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

PAT: Sorry Joel. I'll go wash it out with soap.

JOEL: HAHAHAHAAA!!!

PAT: HAHAAHHAAAHAA!!!

POPPYCOCK: Haaaaaaaaa...

JOEL: Pop, I think you have to leave now.

PAT: Thanks. Is he gone?



JOEL: I think so.

PAT: Right. Well, I just wanted to say that I was thinking this, right: when someone tells you that they find something annoying, that's not a cue to do that thing more in an attempt to be 'funny', you with me?

JOEL: I am so on your wavelength that it hurts me.

PAT: I'm hurting too, Joel. We all are.

JOEL: And what say you to this: the immense variety of things we overlook in our day-to-day life are the things which define us to others. Do you agree?

PAT: I don't know that I understand. All I know is that I miss you when you disappear the way you do.

JOEL: There are things you can never understand.

PAT: Word. You seem so full of sadness, sometimes.

POPPYCOCK: Now I know I heard someone calling me!

JOEL: You, Poppycock, you too will die one day.

POPPYCOCK: Jesus!
JESUS: Hoy!

NEXT TIME: POPPYCOCK RECEIVES A VISITOR; PAT GETS OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Pat and Joel emote

Pat and Joel like stuff, and want you to know about it. Today, Pat and Joel discuss nodding, bumping into stuff and related things that they feel real, plasticky emotions about.

PAT: Joel!

JOEL: Jenny! I mean Pat. What's up?

PAT: Oh, I've just been thinking about stuff.

JOEL: Stuff? What kind of stuff have you been thinking about?

PAT: Oh, nothing you'd want to hear about...

JOEL: Are you kidding? Are you pulling my freaky plastic leg? Of course I want to hear about it!

PAT: I know! I was just joking. It's what I do.

JOEL: Sure as heck is!

PAT: OK - what I was thinking about is this: you know how some people nod their heads with such gusto that it becomes like a half-body nod, their entire upper body getting in on the action?

JOEL: I think I do.

PAT: You do. It's like a head nod turned up a few notches. These crazy characters who do this amped-up nod can be annoyingly overenthusiastic, or endearingly unselfconscious. It's up to you how you interpret it.

JOEL: WOAH! Don't leave it up to me! You know I can't handle being put in that position! Especially since the accident!!!

PAT: I thought you told me it wasn't an accident?

JOEL: Yeah..but the damn cops told me to drop my investigations. It's been "officially" ruled an accident.

PAT: Righto. And if it helps, we'll say that the half-body nod is a good thing.

JOEL: Ta. Hey, why don't we work on developing a full-body nod? Sort of a long body roll that starts at the head and travels all the way down to your feet.

PAT: Right on - now I know why you're known around these parts as "the brains of the operation". Also why people forgive your freakish appearance.

JOEL: You know what else I like? People who are always walking into things. That's cute. Unless they're walking into other people, which is creepy.

POPPYCOCK: Did I hear my name?

PAT: SHIVERS, POPPYCOCK! You gave me quite the scare.

JOEL: Not me. I'm cool as.

PAT: You sure are. That's why you're unofficially known around these parts as "Charles Bronson".

JOEL: Really? I never knew that.

PAT: What about people who unknowingly wear items of clothing inside-out?

JOEL: Love it. At least if it's a t-shirt or jumper or something. Pants is a bit wrong. And socks don't really rate either way.

POPPYCOCK: I can wear things inside out.

PAT: That's ok Poppy. Listen, this is kind of a private conversation.

POPPYCOCK: Can I just listen?

PAT: No.

[EXIT POPPYCOCK]

PAT: Why is he always hanging around?

JOEL: Well, since the...accident, he's just been around to help out. You know, when I have my episodes. I don't know where he came from.

PAT: He creeps me out.

JOEL: Not me.

PAT: Yeah, that's probably why you're unofficially known around these parts as "the dude with the creepy clown always hanging around him".

POPPYCOCK: Did I hear my name again?

PAT: Listen, I'm off to the solarium.